Why I Never Have To Buy a New Computer
This is actually a nice way to get a new system. For example, I unplugged my laptop and hugged it to my chest during a fast moving, ground striking thunderstorm. I moved away from the nearest windows. Well, as per usual, the lightning bolt used more than one entrance to my home, it hit the window with a violent crash, failed to nail me, so a second bolt hit the powerlines below the house, traveled underground to my basement, set the board which held the phone line connections on fire and raced upstairs, jumped out of the kitchen phone, melting the insides and hit my laptop right in the middle, destroying it.
Explaining this to Apple was fun.
I got my new computer a week later.